I got your Who Dat? right here...
In case you've missed it, the NFL has recently been claiming that they own the rights to the phrase "Who Dat?" especially when joined by the colors black and gold or any fleur de lis, not just the one they actually own. Obviously, they're full of it. As a result, New Orleanians are angry, and rightfully so. I decided to let the NFL know about my copyright claim. And for the record, yes, I actually sent this.
To: Dan MasonsonI'll be sure to let you know of any responses.
Subject: A Request to Cease Infringement of Copyrighted Materials Mr. Masonson — It was recently brought to my attention that your organization, the National Football League (NFL), has been infringing upon a set of phrases to which I have recently laid copyright claim. The infringing phrases are as follows: \nThis telecast is copyrighted by the NFL for the private use of our audience. Any other use of this telecast or of any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the game without the NFL's consent, is prohibited. In this set of phrases, the acronym "NFL" refers to "Neanderthal Frisbee League". The Neanderthal Frisbee League is a sporting league wherein players dress as cavemen and play Ultimate Frisbee. While the league has never been officially formed nor have any games (or, "matches", as we call them) actually been played, I've long dreamed that one day the matches would be aired on national television, thereby forcing me to create some sort of protection for the content and events that may transpire one day. Please take note that the issue is not with our shared acronyms—I happen to be a big fan of coincidence and happenstance (primarily because it's such a silly word). I've decided that, while your organization has been using the two phrases since 1998, after 21 years of very successful "Madden NFL" videogames and how football has just so recently become more popular than ever in its history (thanks to baseball having the same teams in the Series every year. Am I right?), I've decided that now would be the perfect time to randomly claim I own something that you've been using for about 12 years. I know this will come as a shock to you because your organization has held these phrases so near and dear to your (legal department's) heart, but with the recent success of your organization and the upcoming Super Bowl, I felt I should pounce on this immediately so that my unsubstantiated claim could possibly hold water prior to the Big Game. Please keep in mind, that my claim of ownership of these two phrases also encompasses the red, white, and blue colors typically shown on the graphic after each broadcast bearing this message, as well as the shield shape that your organization uses to surround the letters "NFL". I hope that you take these matters into consideration and must ask that you cease displaying this message after each broadcast and discontinue all merchandise bearing the two phrases. (Why you thought those t-shirts would sell is beyond me, but, to each their own.) Thank you for your time, Mr. Masonson, and I hope that your Big Game goes smoothly. Geaux Saints, Geoffrey Gauchet