geoffrey gauchet

People from the Future are Jerks

I walked to the office kitchen just now to go microwave my frozen spaghetti meal. I flipped over the box to read the directions, as one is wont to do when heating such things, and the first step after venting the plastic wrap was to heat it for 6 and a half minutes.

I then got irked that it was going to take 6 and half minutes to heat this meal. It’s 2011 — hell, it’s practically 2012 — and it takes longer than 4 and half minutes to microwave frozen spaghetti on HIGH in an 1100 watt microwave?!

Then, after begrudgingly setting the cook time, I got even more angry. I got angry at myself for even being upset about this in the first place. 100 years ago, it would take harvesting your own cereal grain to make the flour, raising your own chickens and procuring the eggs, then walking to a well and fetching some water just to make the pasta, not to mention growing and picking your own tomatoes and herbs for the sauce, and here I am, just some asshole from the future getting angry that my pasta wasn’t ready in 4 and half minutes while I watch some stupid YouTube videos. People from the future are jerks.

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